Over the last decade, wellness has become an increasingly important part of people's lives. Whether it's improving their diet or exercising more for their physical health, learning how to meditate or practice mindfulness for their mental health, or simply taking some extra time out to focus on self-care, we can see that people are prioritising their health and wellness to feel better in their daily lives. And now, sexual wellness is starting to get the attention it deserves as part of our overall sense of well-being.
At Adulttoymegastore, we consider sexual wellness as an essential component of the wellness triangle that consists of your mental wellness, your physical wellness and your sexual wellness. When you are feeling good in all three of these areas, you are in a better position to thrive in your life. But what is sexual wellness? Is it getting regular STI checks, making sure you always have a vibrator charged and ready for action or being an advocate for sexual positivity? Here's what you need to consider when it comes to sexual wellness.
Sexual wellness is having a sense of connection and comfort in your pleasure including; your wants, needs and desires, and your sexual interactions with others.
According to a 2021 article published in the Lancet Public Health Journal, sexual wellness includes the following.
This includes access to contraception & contraception education, fertility management and reproductive choices, prevention and management of STIs, and access to care for sexual dysfunction like erection difficulties or anorgasmia.
This includes access to public health services and cultural and legal systems that support inclusive sexuality and gender. For example, legalising gay marriage and banning conversion therapy here in Aotearoa.
This means having a sense of emotional & mental well-being about sexuality. This includes sexual self-esteem & self-determination to choose a partner or indulge in whichever sexual activities you choose without shame or outside influence.
This includes experiencing sexual pleasure, intimacy and satisfaction alone and with a partner or partners if you choose to. And the freedom to choose the sexual acts, tools or toys you use to get there.
I can't overstate how important pleasure is as part of our overall sexual well-being. But for a lot of us, it was missing from our sex education growing up. Especially when it came to solo pleasure or non-heterosexual forms of sex, Aka anything outside of penis in vagina sex.
But pleasure is good for you in so many ways!
Sexual positivity is something I always add to my definition of sexual wellness. This means embracing a liberated attitude towards sex, sexuality, gender and bodies free of shame and judgement.
In the kink community, this would be summarised as not yucking anybody else's yum.
Sexual positivity is about approaching sex with openness and without judgement, regardless of whether you are personally interested in that form of sex or not. It's about respecting other people's yeses and no's, and doing the same for yourself. Feeling confident to say no to things you aren't interested in is as important as being able to say yes to what you are interested in.
Sex is so broad, and we don't all have to be into the same things. But just because I don't want to have sex in a particular way doesn't mean that I judge others for wanting to do it or think it's a bad way to have sex, I just don't to do it myself. This is what sex positivity is all about. So long as it's consensual between all parties involved, it's legal, it's enjoyable and it's not causing harm, then it's fair game.
If you want to see how our attitudes towards sexual wellness and pleasure have shifted in society, you can look at the changing cultural status of sex toys. And while you might think that sex toys have always had a taboo status, this wasn't always the case.
In the early 1900s, there were already 20 different vibrator models on the market, labelled as personal massagers or medical devices for all sorts of ailments.
They were so popular that the vibrator was the fifth household appliance to be electrified, 10 years before the vacuum or the iron. And they were promoted extensively in "respectable" women's magazines of the time.
By the 1930s, vibrators started appearing in pornographic films and their status as medical devices came into question. At the same time, a rise in conservatism following the Roaring 20s meant anything deemed a sex toy was looked down upon, banned entirely or forced to fit into the category of marital aid.
Yip, if a toy was designed for a married man and a woman to assist with their sex life, it was ok, but there was no using a toy for personal pleasure or in a same-sex relationship thank you very much!
Luckily for us, the 21st century has seen a boom in sex toys as they have evolved in public consciousness from "marital aids" to sexual wellness products that can be pleasurable, and good for you but also make you happy just for the fun of it.
And there are a few reasons for this.
The first is the rise of the internet making ordering a sex toy directly to your door from the privacy of your own home discrete and incredibly easy. You're welcome!
The second is how much the sex toy industry has developed in the last 20 years.
From the toys themselves using new & extremely pleasurable technologies like pulsation, thrusting and oscillating to focusing on better, body-safe materials and a significant shift to much better toy design. Brands now use a lot less illicit packaging and less anatomical designs which has made the industry feel a lot more welcoming to many people.
You can still get a 12-inch dildo if you want it, but it's no longer the only option. And this is so important because we all enjoy our bodies differently and there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to our sexuality or our sexual pleasure.
We can see this in the toys that get mainstream attention.
Yes, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is still the most popular sex toy at ATMS. Still, in the last few years, we have seen BDSM toys like handcuffs and bed restraints, anal toys like butt plugs and anal beads and plenty of vibrating couples sex toys making the list of top 10 selling sex toys, proving that Kiwis are pretty open to exploring new forms of pleasure in the bedroom.
I think the best advance that sex toys have made in recent years, which has greatly impacted how toys are perceived as wellness products, is the focus on toys to suit all bodies and relationship structures with accessible and inclusive toys.
For people with a disability, not all sex toys are going for their bodies, but we are seeing some amazing advances in those that can.
Read more: Masturbation tips for people with disabilities
Finger vibrators are ergonomically designed to provide targeted stimulation to any erogenous zone.
What sets them apart from regular bullet vibrators is the strap that allows users to wear them as an extension of their fingers. These are particularly beneficial for people with limited hand mobility because they are designed to be easy to use and require minimal dexterity.
Position aids are wonderful tools that help people of all mobility levels achieve and maintain certain sex positions more comfortably. These can range from specially designed cushions and furniture to straps, harnesses and swings. A great position aid for couples with limited mobility is the I Like It Doggy Strap by Sportsheets, which sits under the receiving partners torso and is held by the other partner, helping reduce fatigue and take stress off the lower back and hips of either partner.
In recent years, the sex toy industry has seen a boom in toys designed for same-sex couples as well as gender-affirming care for trans and non-binary folks too.
Read more: Sex toys everyone can use regardless of their gender or sexuality
You might be surprised to hear that strap-on harnesses and dildos were one of the first mass-produced sex toys. Initially, they were hollow and designed for men who couldn't produce an erection. There are still plenty of options for this but in recent years we've also seen many strap-ons designed for lesbian and non-binary folks who want to explore penetrative sex with a partner.
In many cases, these dildos may vibrate or even have a small pocket inside the harness to slip a vibrating bullet into, so that the wearer can have clitoral stimulation at the same time.
There are also plenty of queer brands like Oxballs and Tom of Finland creating sex & fetish toys specifically for gay men.
Sex toys are also amazing tools for people who experience some form of sexual dysfunction.
For those with erection difficulties, there are vibrating masturbators with open-winged designs like the Renegade El Rey Stroker. This kind of design means the toy can be used without an erection and the user can experience stimulation from vibration rather than needing to stroke the toy up and down like many other masturbation tools.
For those with low sensitivity, there are powerful stimulators that can penetrate deep inside the body to stimulate the internal structure of the clitoris. A clitoral pulsation toy like the Satisfyer Pro 2 or a wand vibrator like the Le Wand Massager can be great tools for helping people who struggle to orgasm.
While sexual wellness and sex toys have seemingly become mainstream in recent years, the sexual wellness industry still faces heavy censorship and restrictions, which only reinforces the idea that sex and pleasure are taboo.
From social media shadow bans to advertising rejections to having to call sex toys by any name other than sex toys...
You get the idea.
For something that is considered by many to be an essential part of their wellness routine, sexual wellness still has some pretty significant boundaries in the way to becoming completely normalised. But learning about it, thinking about what sexual wellness means to you and considering new ways of bringing more awareness to it in your daily life are all great steps you can take now.